Category Archives: Mocktails

April 1: On The Matter Of Fools And How Best To Pity Them

Fool TarotIt’s April Fools’ Day, that delightful day when you should assume that every single thing you read on the internet is an utter lie! So, why do we reserve the first day of April for pranks and shenanigans?

Well, there are a couple of reasons. First, there was the ancient Roman festival of Hilaria which was celebrated on March 25 and marked with masquerades and other japes, which eventually morphed into April Fool’s Day. Secondly, in the Middle Ages,  the celebration of the new year coincided with the Feast of the Annunciation on March 25. So, it’s believed that April Fool’s Day came from those who marked the start of a new year on January 1 making fun of those who still marked it in the springtime. So, it’s from these two different customs that we get the modern April Fool’s Day.

This April 1, why not a prank of a cocktail? The Croton Cocktail comes to us from Esquire Magazine‘s resident drinks czar David Wondrich. Wondrich claims that he was introduced to this drink by a bartender named Ed. The story goes that once Wondrich had been drinking heavily with another bartender, and after a few Martinis, Ed offered to mix him a Croton Cocktail. Wondrich asked the origin of the drink, and Ed simply replied that “If ya ast me, I’d hafta say was God invented the Croton Cocktail.”

Wondrich enjoyed four “icy and pure” Croton Cocktails that day, and pleaded with Ed to give him the recipe. Ed finally decided to relent and took Wondrich behind the bar and revealed the secret: “Okay. Shaker full of ice, see? Then ya go over to this silver thing here, turn this little handle, the one what sez ‘cold,’ and let some of the stuff comes out into yer shaker. Then ya shake it.” Yes, dear reader, the Croton Cocktail is simply water on the rocks. Where does the name come from? Well, the Croton Aqueduct was the first source of fresh, clean water in New York City; thus a glass of water is a Croton Cocktail.

Croton Cocktail

  • Water

Fill a highball glass or a pint glass with ice and water. Give it a quick stir and garnish it with a lemon wedge, if you wish.

Tomorrow: We go from Croton Aqueduct to the Fountain of Youth.

July 17: Disneyland

Disneyland“To all who come to this happy place: Welcome. Disneyland is your land. Here age relives fond memories of the past, and here youth may savor the challenge and promise of the future. Disneyland is dedicated to the ideals, the dreams, and the hard facts that have created America, with the hope that it will be a source of joy and inspiration to all the world.

It was on July 17, 1955 that Walt Disney said those words and officially opened his Magic Kingdom in Anaheim. Disney’s park was initially going to be a humble 8-acre plot of land in Burbank called the Mickey Mouse Park, but the idea soon expanded to a 160 acre complex including a theme park, hotel and parking lots. Construction begun on July 16, 1954 and the park opened one year and a day later, with the total cost just $17-million.

Disneyland’s invite only opening day was a mess. ABC aired a special live broadcast of the opening day events that was full of technical goofs and missed cues. A plumber’s strike kept most of the park’s water fountains inoperable, which was most unwelcome on the hot 101 degree day. Vendors ran out of food and drink, high heel shoes sunk in to the park’s freshly poured asphalt, and to top it all off a gas leak in Fantasyland would force every area of the park except for Tomorrowland and Main Street, USA to close for the afternoon. Disney offered a free return visit to all guests who experienced the horrors of opening day, and in later years he and his team would refer to the events as “Black Sunday.”

Despite all this, when the park opened to the public the next day, people had been lining up since 2:00 AM to gain admission to Disneyland. A Long Beach State College student named David MacPherson would become the first person to buy a ticket to Disneyland and would later be the recipient of lifetime passes to all Disney theme parks.

Frequent visitors to Disneyland are undoubtedly familiar with the sweet Mint Juleps sold in New Orleans Square. There’s only one problem with the Disneyland Mint Julep, there’s no alcohol in it! So, today we’re going to use the Disneyland Mint Julep recipe and swap out one ingredient to make this Magic Kingdom drink more magical.

Disneyland Mint Julep

This recipe makes about 2/3 gallons.

  • 1 cup Sugar
  • 3 tsp. Lime Juice Concentrate
  • 3 cups Soda Water
  • 6 tbsp. Creme DeMenthe (the coffee syrup, not the liquor)
  • 6 oz. thawed Lemonade Concentrate

Dissolve sugar into club soda, add the lemonade and bring to a boil. After removing from the heat, add creme de menthe. Chill. To serve, combine 3 ounces syrup to 5 ounces water in a plastic cup. Garnish with mint, and skewer two pineapple slices and a cherry. Add ice if necessary. Now, if you want to make this a proper alcoholic drink, I’d advise adding a teaspoon of Creme de Menthe (the liqueur) before adding the water; and if you want it to almost taste like an actual Mint Julep, add about an ounce of bourbon before adding the water.

But really, if you’re trying to get drunk off a Disneyland drink, you may just be doing both drinking and Disneyland wrong.

Tomorrow: I put a spell on you.

April 1: On The Topic Of Pitying Fools

It’s April Fool’s DayFool Tarot, that day when you should assume that every single thing you read on the internet is an utter lie! So, why do we reserve the first day of April for pranks and shenanigans?

Well, there are a couple of reasons. First, there was the ancient Roman festival of Hilaria which was celebrated on March 25 and marked with masquerades and other japes, which eventually morphed into April Fool’s Day. Secondly, in the Middle Ages,  the celebration of the new year coincided with the Feast of the Annunciation on March 25. So, it’s believed that April Fool’s Day came from those who marked the start of a new year on January 1 making fun of those who still marked it in the springtime. So, it’s from these two different customs that we get the modern April Fool’s Day.

This April 1, why not a prank of a cocktail? The Croton Cocktail comes to us from Esquire Magazine‘s resident drink’s czar David Wondrich. Wondrich claims that he was introduced to this drink by a bartender named Ed. The story goes that once Wondrich had been drinking heavily with another bartender, and after a few Martinis, Ed offered to mix him a Croton Cocktail. Wondrich asked the origin of the drink, and Ed simply replied that “If ya ast me, I’d hafta say was God invented the Croton Cocktail.”

Wondrich enjoyed four “icy and pure” Croton Cocktails that day, and pleaded with Ed to give him the recipe. Ed finally decided to relent and took Wondrich behind the bar and revealed the secret: “Okay. Shaker full of ice, see? Then ya go over to this silver thing here, turn this little handle, the one what sez ‘cold,’ and let some of the stuff comes out into yer shaker. Then ya shake it.” Yes, dear reader, the Croton Cocktail is simply water on the rocks. Where does the name come from? Well, the Croton Aqueduct was the first source of fresh, clean water in New York City; thus a glass of water is a Croton Cocktail.

Croton Cocktail

  • Water

Fill a highball glass or a pint glass with ice and water. Give it a quick stir and garnish it with a lemon wedge, if you wish.

Tomorrow: We go from Croton Aqueduct to the Fountain of Youth.

July 17: The Happiest Place On Earth

Disneyland“To all who come to this happy place: Welcome. Disneyland is your land. Here age relives fond memories of the past, and here youth may savor the challenge and promise of the future. Disneyland is dedicated to the ideals, the dreams, and the hard facts that have created America, with the hope that it will be a source of joy and inspiration to all the world.

58 years ago today, Walt Disney said those words and officially opened his Magic Kingdom in Anaheim. Disney’s park was initially going to be a humble 8-acre plot of land in Burbank called the Mickey Mouse Park, but the idea soon expanded to a 160 acre complex including a theme park, hotel and parking lots. Construction begun on July 16, 1954 and the park opened one year and a day later, with the total cost just $17-million.

Disneyland’s invite only opening day was a mess. ABC broadcasted a special live broadcast of the opening day events that was full of technical goofs and missed cues. A plumber’s strike kept most of the park’s water fountains inoperable, which was most unwelcome on the hot 101 degree day. Vendors ran out of food and drink, high heel shoes sunk in to the park’s freshly poured asphalt, and to top it all off a gas leak in Fantasyland would force every area of the park except for Tomorrowland and Main Street, USA to close for the afternoon. Disney offered a free return visit to all guests who experienced the horrors of opening day, and in later years he and his team would refer to the events as “Black Sunday.”

Despite all this, people started lining up outside the park at 2:00 AM on July 18th to gain admission to Disneyland. A Long Beach State College student named David MacPherson would become the first person to buy a ticket to Disneyland and would later be the recipient of lifetime passes to all Disney theme parks.

Frequent visitors to Disneyland are undoubtedly familiar with the sweet Mint Juleps sold in New Orleans Square. There’s only one problem with the Disneyland Mint Julep, there’s no alcohol in it! So, today we’re going to use the Disneyland Mint Julep recipe and swap out one ingredient to make this Magic Kingdom drink more magical.

Disneyland Mint Julep

This recipe makes about 2/3 gallons.

  • 1 cup Sugar
  • 3 tsp. Lime Juice Concentrate
  • 3 cups Soda Water
  • 6 tbsp. Creme DeMenthe (the coffee syrup, not the liquor)
  • 6 oz. thawed Lemonade Concentrate

Dissolve sugar into club soda, add the lemonade and bring to a boil. After removing from the heat, add creme de menthe. Chill. To serve, combine 3 ounces syrup to 5 ounces water in a plastic cup. Garnish with mint, and skewer two pineapple slices and a cherry. Add ice if necessary. Now, if you want to make this a proper alcoholic drink, I’d advise adding a teaspoon of Creme de Menthe (the liqueur) before adding the water; and if you want it to almost taste like an actual Mint Julep, add about an ounce of bourbon before adding the water.

But really, if you’re trying to get drunk off a Disneyland drink, you may just be doing both drinking and Disneyland wrong.

Tomorrow: I put a spell on you.